12 Things I Do Differently Now As A Mum Of 3

1. Read parent books, Something I keep wondering to myself is why I didn’t pick up more parenting books earlier, before my girls were well and truly into their terrible twos era! There are soo many amazing books written by parents who have done all this before, and they get you as a parent, and also get the child. Instead of battling everyday and “figuring it out”, wondering how anyone ever got through this parenting thing, seriously help yourself out and just read a book about kids. Or even listen to an audiobook if that’s easier!

2. Have a cleaning schedule. I used to wonder how on earth I’d keep a house clean with little people running around. And then I decided, I’m just going to figure out the best day to do certain things, and stick to it. For example, every Wednesday night after my girls were in bed, I’d sweep and then turn on the robomop. It was a good day for us because they’d usually been at home all day and trashed the joint, and were going back to daycare on Thursday, so I found the morning after when we’re getting ready and doing the drop-off easier because the house was clean and it gave everyone a sense of calm. If you sit down and think of what days of the week to do certain things, it can really be a game-changer!

4. Have a drop area at the front of the house for their things. I know this is a simple one, but honestly I didn’t start doing this until my first baby grew into a toddler and started having more “things” to leave the house with such as backpacks and shoes. Now my girls have a complete area set up where they can drop their bags, take off and put on their shoes, and also hang up their jackets and hats as well!

5. Search Facebook marketplace before buying new (depending what it is). I totally get that some things, you’ll want to buy new. In fact, I completely get it if you just want to get everything brand new! Especially if it’s your first baby. I’ll never forget walking into baby bunting for the first time, holding my little bump, feeling so lost but excited. Even the smell of all the new items felt so exciting. And some things, you’ll just want brand new. But now that I’ve got 3, I really deeply know just how much “stuff” you can accumulate, and over the years it’s made me realise how much waste there is out there just on baby items. It honestly horrifies me. So things like bottle warmers, sterilisers, baby bouncers, sleeping bags, baby carriers - they are all amazing things to buy second-hand. They’re usually well kept by other mums and way less than half the cost. Which is another huge benefit to it - the savings!

6. Look after my money. Money mindset has been a huge, huge thing I’ve been working on for the past couple of years. I realised it’s an area I struggle in, so why not read as many books as I can on the subject? And honestly, doing that has changed my life - no joke (see my post on how to start a blog here). I HATE budgeting, I am not one for tracking every single coffee I buy. But I just track my income vs regular bills, so I know how much I have leftover to spend and save/invest. Yes, I even now invest money! So wild, but the even more wild thing to me now is - that I haven’t been doing this for years. Literally kicking myself. I think back to all those early years as a new mum, and all the money that just went out the window and how much better I could have set myself up in these later years now having my 3rd and having to go back to work way earlier than I’d like.

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When you have your first baby, everything is so brand new, you just go with it. You’re just trying to survive, choose between tonnes of different advice, and it’s like you’re constantly trialling and erroring with your new bub! It’s so easy to compare what you’re doing with everyone else, but really all you’re trying to do is just figure out what style of mum you are.

It really wasn’t until I had my third baby, where I understood what people meant when they say it gets easier with more kids. What they mean is, it’s not easy in the sense of parenting (because a newborn and dealing with toddlers at your feet at the same time is low key… frikken exhausting) but they mean it’s easier in the sense that you know how you like to do things now. You’ve tried tonnes of different advice. Searched and scrolled and have experienced the whole process a few times now. So next time? You can trust that even though you’re going to have a totally new baby with possibly a whole new set of challenges, there’s some things in your parenting style that you just like to do.

7. Back myself and drop the shame. For a while there, I allowed other people's opinions to make me doubt some of the decisions I’d made around being a mum. Anything from something more serious like going back to work and having them go to daycare, through to buying cheap furniture. For example, I had some cube storage for a while that my partner kept saying was just cheap and nasty, so I sold it for like $5 because I thought I should start buying better items. But after about 3ish years, having 2 more babies, I realised I loved that cube storage because it’s so great for kids stuff and had to buy some again! And I thought far out, I just need to back myself, and stop letting others make me feel stupid! Because at the end of the day, they can’t if you don’t let them.

8. Stopped taking photos of my kids for social media. Long story short, I didn’t used to care about this and I’d share quite a lot on my social media about mum-life and my kids. But after a big scroll hole on Tik Tok, and about 6 months later, I decided that was it. My toddler started running away when I got my phone out to take photos, and I decided right then and there that was it. They don’t know how many people are seeing it. They’re innocently smiling and have no idea who is seeing the photo. Nuff said.

3. Have a  meal schedule but simple. I realised we actually can be quite repetitive with our meals - which simplified things for us! For example, Tuesday nights was easiest to cook something quick like sausages and 3 veg, whereas later in the week we’d cook more fun meals like lasagne or curries. It could be total opposite for you! But once you fill in those easy options, you can make a simple table with some go-to meals on certain nights, and wow, it takes all the hard work out of it!

So, even though I think I’m done having babies now (wild!), here are my personal top 12 things I do completely differently now being a mum of 3:

9. No longer talk down to my kids, and understand their point of view. This was a big parenting lesson I learnt in a course I did, but I’ve also seen it in books too. It’s something they don’t explicitly say, but once it clicks, you get it. Sometimes our kids aren’t being as ridiculous as we think they are, or if they are, it’s going to help A LOT in getting stuff done if we stop and just listen to them and try to hear their point of view. For example, the other night my 3 year old had a huge meltdown at 1am in the morning. She had lost her lovey earlier that day, and was beside herself when she wanted it in the night. At first I became stressed, and told her she was being silly and had to go to sleep. But after it escalated and I let her try to get her words out, all she wanted to do was go downstairs and have a chance at trying to find it herself. So I let her, and we didn’t find it, but when I offered her the choice of another toy from the shelf, she chose one and was fine and went to sleep. I could have dragged it out in a power battle, but I dug down inside and decided to let it go and see her perspective and it resolved itself.

10. Play lots of varieties of music in the house depending on the mood. When I had my first baby, things were pretty quiet. Days were slow, easy, and serene. It’s a vibe I’ll never forget. But now with toddlers? When things get a bit wild or I just have to get stuff done like the dishes or dinner, I throw on some music with my Alexa depending on the mood and everyone gets into a good vibe. Sometimes they’ll even leave me alone to play and have fun by themselves because there’s music on!

11. Let them. This is a tricky one because, I originally went into motherhood wanting to be the cool, chill mum. No schedules or anything. But after the 4 month sleep regression hit, and my partner and I were separated at the time (now still together with 3 kids), I quickly realised I had to have routines and schedules so everyone could function and be happy. But what I didn’t realise until a couple years down the track was, I could still have that, but also be chill. And the best way to explain this is with the “let them” theory by Mel Robbins. Let them make mess. Let them muck around at bedtime. Let them refuse their dinner. Let them (grandparents) help clean your house. Let them bake their birthday cake instead of you. Honestly, as I said earlier - these kids ain’t going anywhere. So take the burden off your back, and here and there, let them.

12. Cloth nappies - last but not least! Now bear with me - I know I know. It feels like a lot of work, and it’s gross, and why bother, right? I tried cloth nappies with my first and hated them. But with my third, I finally decided I’d had enough of all the waste. Not just the nappies, but the toys and all the things as well. When my third was a newborn, and I saw literal new packets of nappies turn into a bag of rubbish a mere few days later, it honestly made me sick to my stomach and that was it. I went nuts and bought about 20+ cloth nappies and committed. Honestly? It’s way easier than I thought, costs literally ZERO once you’ve got them all, and feels great knowing you’re not producing any nappy waste out into the environment!

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